Welcome to Help From My Friends Friday. I haven’t met an author yet who doesn’t experience self-doubt during their career. Some muddle through, while others blast wide open those doors. Still, when it comes to putting our work out there, the fear is real. Author Rhonda Lane shares what she went through, and what she eventually did about it. What a helpful, inspirational tale. Let’s get to know Rhonda Lane. ~ Donnell
How I Got My Mind Game On
By Rhonda Lane
Author Rhonda Lane
Whether you sign with a traditional publisher or go indie, publishing is a long game with flying rocks, rotten tomatoes, and technological changes coming when you least expect them, including everything happening everywhere all at once.
Meanwhile, you’re living life and enduring constant change with health surprises, loved ones living life with their own surprises, and even the weather. Complicating things is our inner critic, trained by our pasts, not limiting its comments to what we write but branching out to what we do.
Sometimes, we need help developing resilience, an author skill as important as learning how to write story hooks.
Yes, writing a book is a journey, but so is publishing said book, whether with a traditional publisher or going the self-publishing route. Each has its own demands and steps. For me, learning the business part of publishing was one thing. Doing it was another. The process vibed like learning a second language.
What I hadn’t anticipated was the challenge of getting my brain into the game to bring my first novel Fatal Image to publication. My inner critical voice was relentless. Podcaster Tim Ferris once described his inner critic as an obnoxious roommate. Perfection was the way to stay safe, my inner voice insisted. Of course, nothing I do is perfect, but I adapted the mindset as a parallel for the baseball metaphor of “swinging for the fences.”
Those old messages stayed inside my brain and chanted their version of tough love long after I’d left the environment that had put me in survival mode. For a long time, I believed the literal meaning of the line from the Buckaroo Bonzai movie, “No matter where you go there you are,” as being immutable. Maybe even fatalistic.
Little did I know that all those influences doubled down on a secret, underground operation inside my mind. My sub-conscious decided to protect me via inadvertent self-sabotage. Some of this business stuff is a step-by-step process, but Rhonda’s Survival Mind said, “Eh, let’s do this other thing first. It looks easier.”
As the euphemism goes, mistakes were made. And tension was high. Many times, I secretly envied other writers with books in “submission hell.”
So how the heck did I develop perspective? With various mentors. Not mentors you exchange emails with or meet for monthly lunch but mentors I only see online. They may or may not recognize my name. I’ll list those whose content gave me comfort and skills, starting with a summation of what I learned from them and how to access their free offerings, often via YouTube, so you can get an idea if their work can help you.
Before you pull out your credit card for anything or anyone, look them up online. Those YouTube videos and blog posts can give you a sample, if not a good start, on what you may need.
Becca Syme
I had suspected my deep-thinking personality made it challenging to adhere to what I had been told was required for a writing career, but Syme taught me to reconsider my perceived weaknesses as a strengths. She also talks about neuroplasticity, putting a little nuance into the old adage of “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” let alone the Buckaroo Bonzai’s tagline. You can find Syme’s Quitcasts on YouTube, plus she’s been on various other podcasts that are easy to find, like her presentations at 20Books now on YouTube.
Sarra Cannon
I almost didn’t take her paid video course “Publish & Thrive.” It’s spendy, plus I thought I didn’t need it, but I’m glad I dove in. Cannon is a former elementary education teacher. I hadn’t realized how much I needed her encouraging, “That was a lot. You’re doing great!” vibe as much as I need the continuously updated course videos available for current and past students. I’m also a member of her private Facebook group for Publish & Thrive students. You can find her on YouTube via her HeartBreathings channel and with a search of her name.
Sarah Baldwin
Granted, practitioners eager to guide us through nervous system work are all over self-help Instagram. The modern term of “dysregulated nervous system” is fancy talk for your body reacting like the sabretooth tiger is after you now, except what set off the whole wave of panic was the boss saying you have room for improvement. Baldwin has been a guest on various podcasts which can be found on YouTube plus she recently launched her own podcast “You Make Sense.”
If none of these work out for you—again, check out YouTube or websites first—please don’t discount the old standards of yoga, walking in nature, gardening, tending and hanging out with animals, making time to connect with friends who aren’t going to ask you why you aren’t a famous author yet, and reading what you enjoy, even if it’s not what you write.
After so many years of The Buckaroo Bonzai’s line echoing “No matter where you go there you are” along with my inner critic warning against minor things, the space between my ears feels a lot less fatalistic these days. In hindsight, I’ve noticed I’m resilient so I keep in mind that I may even continue to be resilient.
About Fatal Image:
Finalist for the 2023 Killer Nashville Claymore Award!
Too many close calls prompt globe-trotting, award-winning photojournalist Avery Sloane to ditch covering world news to join a school friend at a small rural newspaper. Little does Avery know, she may have survived a war zone, but nosing around small-town secrets could get her killed.
About the Author: Rhonda Lane has been a stringer news photographer, a reporter with a split beat covering “cops & courts” as well as feature stories, and a TV broadcast technician for live and recorded news and sports programming. For twelve years, she ran the horses-in-culture blog known as The Horsey Set Net. She is the author of the short story “On Like Donkey Kong,” which appeared in Fish Out of Water: A Guppy Anthology. Her poem “At the Rail” is in Track Life: Images and Words by Juliet Harrison. Fatal Image is her first novel. She lives with her husband and their cats in an oak grove in central Connecticut. Rhonda Lane lives in Southington with her engineer husband and three feline supervisors.
Rhonda, congrats. Resistance is real and it’s so good to know resilience is too! I’ve attended a workshop with Becca Syme. She’s a writing coach who blends psychology and common sense. Am checking out these Youtube videos.
Thank you for this opportunity, Donnell. I hope we can help some of our colleagues with this. Heck, we may need to see this material again from time to time. 🙂
Thanks, Donnell, for hosting me.
Maybe this post will give someone an energy boost. With any luck, we can help other writers.
I plan to check back here in case anyone out there has questions or even needs a bit of cheering on.
Great interview! I’m currently reading Rhonda’s book and love it.
Adding it to my TBR pile, to Jennifer. Thanks for dropping by.
Aw, thanks, Jennifer. And thanks for saying “hi.”
Interesting post, Rhonda. We all have to find our own paths toward what works best for us. Sounds like you found yours. Best of luck with your book.
Thank you, Lois. It’s not a “One Size Fits All” endeavor. Thanks for stopping by and saying “hi.”
Rhonda,
I’m glad you found what you needed with these podcsasters. Encouragement goes a long way. Wishing you many, many sales of FATAL IMAGE!
Thank you, Marilyn! So happy you stopped by to say “hi.”
Very informative, thanks Rhonda.
Hi, Marian. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks!