My friend and fellow author’s amateur sleuth mystery, Inn the Spirit of Murder, was released two weeks ago. It’s the first of a series. Curious what a life coaching entails? Me too! Let’s welcome Rhonda Blackhurst and find out! ~ Donnell
When your protagonist’s a life coach
By: Rhonda Blackhurst
Author Rhonda Blackhurst
Inn the Spirit of Murder, book one in the Spirit Lake Mysteries, was released on July 24th, 2024. In the series, the protagonist, Andie Rose Kaczmarek, is, among other things, a life coach. So today, Andie Rose is going to give you a brief free coaching session. There are a lot of coaching areas: Emotional Intelligence, Confidence, Finance, Relationship, Spirituality, Health, Entrepreneurship, Goal Setting, Mindset, and a host of others. But Andie Rose is only focusing on one area here—Emotional Intelligence (from here on called EQ). Due to time and space constraints, she will barely be able to scratch the surface, however. But some knowledge is better than none, right?
Full disclosure—one of Andie Rose’s areas of coaching is in relationships, but she struggles to follow her own suggestions. Frequently!
Okay, ready? Let’s go!
Why do people hire a life coach?
Because we live in a giant sea of unfulfilled potential. Life happens; Responsibilities happen; Overwhelm happens; Limiting beliefs happen. People have career goals, relationship goals, health goals, financial goals… but they also have doubts, fears, and distractions—a life coach works with you to overcome these obstacles and helps you achieve your calling. A life coach also helps you stay committed when you feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or become distracted.
In fact, one cannot put a price on happiness and personal fulfillment. So if you aren’t living the life of your dreams, it costs you more to not hire a life coach.
What exactly are emotions? First, let me tell you what they are not. Emotions are not right or wrong. What they are is
your body’s reaction to what you’re thinking. Do you ever feel a certain way and have no idea why? Unconscious thoughts happen all the time; those thoughts cause emotions, leaving us in the dark as to why we’re feeling the way we are. Thoughts create emotions from our environment or through our mental filter (our interpretation of an event).
Situation » Interpretation (thought) » Emotion
Onward to EQ…
Intrapersonal EQ is your ability to be aware of your own moods, emotions, and motives and be able to manage or redirect them and your behaviors. It requires your ability to be flexible, think before reacting, be open to change, and know how your emotions affect others.
Interpersonal EQ comprises your social awareness and ability to manage relationships. Another way to think of it is your ability to understand others’ moods, behaviors, and motives to better understand what is at the core of an issue.
The brain’s plasticity allows it to change and adapt. EQ is like a muscle in that the more you work on it by using a skill, 
the more it will develop. Good news for those of us who may score low on an EQ test. (Yes, there is such a thing.)
Cognitive Behavioral Training (CBT) uses strategies to interrupt unhealthy thought patterns and uses positive self-talk and imagery to redirect thinking to change mood. It can be learned, proving we have control over our thoughts, therefore we have control over our emotions.
(Fun fact—CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in a therapists’ world. Life coaches are not trained therapists,
To put it simply:
Recognize Emotion » Identify Thought » Change Thought » Change Emotion
Our goal, then, is to change our thinking to change our emotions. And the key is to do it within five seconds of realizing it. Why five? Because more than that will cause your emotions to tumble down a path you don’t want to go, escalating in strength and momentum like a runaway train. Try stopping that! Also, waiting for over five seconds serves only to give your mind time to conjure up reasons you “shouldn’t” do it. Essentially, taking action within five seconds outsmarts your own brain.
One more biggie in improving your EQ is learning a growth mindset over a fixed mindset. A growth mindset believes your basic qualities, including IQ and talent, can be grown and that failure is an opportunity to learn. If you have a growth mindset, you’re more resilient, better at coping with failure, and more likely to challenge yourself.
Growth Mindset = Empowerment
As you can probably guess, those with a fixed mindset are without these qualities. This person believes these qualities are fixed at birth and cannot be grown/improved. You’re either good at something or you’re not. (i.e., as an author, one can be taught how to be a talented writer vs one is just born with the talent.)
Fixed Mindset = Disempowerment
Note from the author: Andie Rose offers a free life coaching session for all guests of the Spirit Lake Inn. Take advantage of her offer now! 😊
About the Book:
The kitchen is closed, except for murder.
Six-year-sober life coach and skeptic, Andie Rose Kaczmarek, and her red retriever emotional support animal, Aspen, become the new owners of the surmised haunted Spirit Lake Inn in Minnesota. When Andie Rose finds a body in the inn’s kitchen, she fears it will be the death of what’s most important—the stellar reputation of the inn her grandparents, Grandpop and Honey, built.
Rhonda, welcome, I don’t believe I’ve ever read a life coach protagonist before. I’m into the first couple of chapters. You’re murdering it, kid! I also appreciate this article so much!
Thank you, Donnell! I’m thrilled to be here!
What a fascinating premise for a mystery and for the protagonist! Love this! Isn’t it always the way that it’s easier to give others advice than take it ourselves! Was it hard to decide where Andie Rose would need to have her own blind spot about herself?
Thanks, Mary. Actually, it kind of worked itself out pretty quickly where here blind spot would be. lol!
Thanks so much for the EQ lesson, Rhonda! I appreciate this book and your new series sounds terrific! Congratulations!
Thank you, Margaret!
This is a fascinating post. It makes me even more eager to read Inn the Spirit of Murder. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Barb!
I will start being more mindful of that five second rule! Thanks Andie and Rhonda for the great overview. Can’t wait to read Andie’s story!
Thanks for reading, Marie!
Totally looking forward to reading this book. Need all the life coaching I can get whether it comes from real or fictional characters!!!
Thank you, Sue! Andie throws in little tidbits in each book. 🙂
What an interesting post! I enjoyed learning about EQ.
Thank you for visiting, Marilyn!
I will pick this book up today! Love the premise and the EQ lesson was terrific.